Holiday Blues: Father’s Day

My son called me. He was having tumultuous feelings about Father’s Day and consequently, his father. I didn’t expect that. I didn’t expect him to feel left out or conflicted in any way. I take for granted that he is enormously well adjusted despite certain statistics that may say otherwise about single parent households and in particular, single parent households of color. (As if we single handedly created this category for no reason other than we’re POC.)   

At any rate, he felt like its all such bullshit to define a good life and a good family based on a fabricated holiday. (They’re ALL fabricated but that’s a blog post of a different color. ) I gently reminded him that this is a day to celebrate the parents who are present and contientious and maybe even start to forgive the ones who just are crap. He agreed and I was thankful.

We extended our conversation a little further so that he can be allowed to detox his mind from all that resentment because those toxins can sap your joy in a heartbeat leaving you to feel void of contentment while bitterness sits its fat, ugly ass right in the middle of your soul. Ain’t nobody got time for that. So, on to other things it was and it was good.

It is a shame his father will never know how great his first born is. But, that is OK, for now. It will be up to my young man if he ever wants to confront his father–AGAIN about why he deserted him.

I have always steered my son to be present in his own life, with his own joys and strengths. Dwelling on the why of a past thing gives it more center than it deserves.

There were many blessings in his father’s  leaving. Something that we discuss, my son and I, now that he is older. He understands and that understanding is a relief.


With that being said, I have my own bitter sweet time with this day. That too is a blog post of another color.

Happy Father’s Day! There are some great “Fathers” and “Father figures” out there who deserve their kudos. Thank you for being you.


About solfyre

I am a first-generation American born to Panamaian parents who immigrated to the U.S. some 46 years ago. They arrived during the turbulent 60's era, one of America's remarkable periods of social and civil growth and change. Although, I was born more than 10 years later, the effects of that era have served to shape the perceptions I have of America and it's peoples. Those most important lessons of that time and of times before have been imparted to me with some intensity during my young years, along with many other lessons, of course. It is these lessons that have given me the awareness to navigate through our world with my eyes wide open--never forgetting the efforts of all my ancestors, black, white, red and perhaps even yellow. To them I owe my strength and to them I have dedicated my life because without them I am truly, NOTHING. Growing up in a multi-generational, Hispanic household peppered with cross-cultural spiritual and social influences has made me an interesting individual to say the least. As a result, I have this tendency to think that the whole world is my neighborhood and that all people are my neighbors--some just happen to live VERY far away. I have not changed my mind or my heart about that. I call myself a self-styled techno-curious,"couch warrior", employing all of my technological tools to my advantage. I strongly believe that every effort is a beautiful one and any effort can tip the balance of power one way or the other. So, do not make light of the importance of a pebble just because you have the ability to throw boulders. In short, we all do what we can. I like to learn new things and expand my mental, emotional and spiritual horizons. I do filter information with some discrimination because I will not fill my heart and mind with junk. This has never served me well and I do NOT intend to change that either. Yet still, I have to be open to receive and receive I will. I have a young teenage son and I usually enjoy doing things with him on the computer and the XBOX such as RPGs, fighting games and racing games. We love museums, movies and Anime. I love art, dancing and music. The list could go on but who has all this time to read about my family's side line activities? I am still a student, inside and outside the classroom. I do believe that if we try hard enough we can learn anything from anywhere so, in that respect I stay on the grind. I look forward to having readers and to discovering other readers as well. Its an adventure even if its a cyber one and has its place in our gadget driven world. I thank you for stopping by and let's hope I can keep things somewhat interesting.

Posted on June 22, 2015, in Poetry & Other Writings. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. What a fine young man. You look so proud.

    Thanks for the honesty of this post — probably the most honest post I read commemorating this very problematic holiday.

    Liked by 1 person

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